—Do you know the art of elimination?
—Kirishima is always problematic at times like this.
—Let’s say there are homeless people or young people skating in the park.
During lunch, he talked with the boys in the student council office.
It had been several weeks since Tachibana had disappeared.
—In situations like that, they put up benches with artistic designs or sculptures. Doesn’t it seem like they’re trying to beautify the place with contemporary art?
But the thing is, you can’t sleep on benches with extravagant designs, and you can’t skate in places full of sculptures. As a result, these people get kicked out.
—In the records of the city or district, it is simply recorded as an ‘art installation’. Residents can continue to admire beautiful things without acknowledging the fact that they have evicted someone.
—You can’t just say ‘you’re a picky eater’ and leave it at that. Wouldn’t that be to stop mentioning serious problems in today’s society?
—It’s not that I have an opinion on whether it’s good or bad. It’s just the way things are.
In fact, I understand very well the desire not to see unpleasant things and only to see beautiful things. It’s very human.
—But we have to be aware of that.
—Even in terms of love.
—Yes, that’s what makes me uncomfortable, the fact that I turn everything into a beautiful story.
S*xual desire, envy, possessiveness, commitment.
To ignore these facets of love and always pretend to be in pure love, getting drunk and immersed in it, and fervently criticizing the immoral romances of others, seems strange to me.
So I decided to take love seriously and approach it sincerely in my own way.
—But in the end, I was the same. I was looking for superficial beauty so as not to turn into a bad person.
That’s why I was so relieved when I saw Hayasaka and Tachibana getting along. I felt that I wasn’t creating a situation where someone would hurt someone because of me.
I liked the scene in which they kissed while dressed as maids. Because the dirt of male s*xual desire disappeared. It was like holy porn with only the beautiful cut out.
And now I’m relieved that things are back to normal. And the truth is that Tachibana did not disappear and leave on that train as I feared.
After missing school for a few days, she finally returned to school. She had a very calm expression on her face.
“Tachibana Hikari chose me.”
I received a message from Yanagi-senpai with these words.
He didn’t need to tell me, because on the day the third year students returned, I saw Yanagi-senpai and Tachibana walking hand in hand.
And the expression on her face showed that she no longer disgusted him.
Not being able to meet her that night broke the spell of my first love.
People commit themselves to love. And Tachibana is no exception.
She was in the club at the time, and I could hear Yanagi and Tachibana’s voices from the old music room next door. It seemed like he wanted to hear her play the piano.
After they finished playing the piano, a serene atmosphere was transmitted through the wall.
—Hey, Kirishima, don’t tell me that you…?
—Yes, I listened carefully through the wall. I thought they were punishing me.
—That’s pretty twisted!
I listened to the conversation between Tachibana and Yanagi for more than an hour.
“Hey, Hikari, can I hold your hand again?”
“…Sure.”
“Can I touch your shoulder?”
“…Alright.”
If I had chosen Tachibana, she would still be a girl that only I could touch. While I was thinking about that, I continued to feel the air through the wall as Senpai stroked Tachibana’s hair.
—Kirishima, it’s amazing how you still keep your mind.
—We are two now.
When it comes to what happens to people you break up with or whose feelings you don’t respond to, many people move on with new love. You can’t stay in their hearts forever.
—Well, I guess it’s okay, after all, this is what you were looking for. A soft landing.
—Tachibana-san suffered a lot and probably felt frustrated. Because she wanted to cherish feelings that were more fleeting than normal everyday life.
And I really thought that was the way to go.
To live a normal everyday life and have a new love. That was a positive outcome.
Compared to a tragic outcome where one of the two, Hayasaka or Tachibana, was completely destroyed, this was much better.
—I will grow up. And I will live with a perspective of love equal to that of everyone else.
I said as I handed the club key to Maki.
—Are you sure?
—Yes.
And so I put an end to the Mystery Club.
***
The days went by without any significant changes.
I had meaningless conversations with Maki and Sakai, while receiving some taunts from Hamanami.
My girlfriend Hayasaka was extremely healthy. She was content just to hold hands and be close to me, always smiling.
“I’m going to make Kirishima-kun happy.”
That was her mantra. She repeated it every day.
After I left high school, I went to a punching center. Hayasaka went to the box where the slower pitches came out and started hitting with the bat.
—I feel very happy with all this.
—No, I’m going to be an even better girlfriend. I’ll do my best to convince Kirishima-kun that it was a good idea to go out with me.
—I see…By the way, Hayasaka, you’re very good at this, it seems like you’re used to it.
—Yes, when I have stress, I usually come here a lot.
—Oh, I understand…
—But don’t worry! I never hit the ball when I thought it was your face, Kirishima-kun!
Saying that doesn’t make me feel so safe…
But those were not the only activities we did together.
We both agreed to learn snowboarding, which became a great part of our youth.
The fact that we spent a lot of time together really helped Hayasaka, because she was left alone, and unlike Tachibana, she had groups of friends she spent a lot of time with.
Every time she saw Tachibana, she imagined her sad face waiting under the cherry tree. But that was just my wish, something that had already happened, the afterimage of the first love that everyone has.
And I became more and more convinced that I didn’t have to torture myself any longer. I had to leave that old love behind.
The fact that I was able to have someone I liked as my second love made me feel very lucky, and Hayasaka-san was an incredibly lovely girlfriend.
Of course, the scars from the storm were still there.
There was a time when I tried to take the next step with her. That day, I was invited to her house and spent the night there, and as usual, Hayasaka crawled into my futon in the middle of the night.
There was no reason for us not to.
I touched her soft body and hugged her. I felt that saying a woman’s body was delicious lacked elegance and I didn’t like it. But Hayasaka’s body was that kind.
It was soft, wet, her skin clung to mine, it was sensual in every way.
In the midst of the excitement, we were about to do it.
“I’m sorry, Kirishima-kun, I’m so sorry.”
Hayasaka-san clung to me and started to apologize. But I couldn’t understand why she was apologizing.
“Please don’t go anywhere.”
She wrapped her arms around my back and clung to me with all her strength.
She was trembling with fear.
That night, I kept stroking Hayasaka’s back and her head.
I knew there were problems, but I thought time would solve them.
After all, the changing seasons turn everything into memories.
At the third-year graduation ceremony, I sincerely bid farewell to the graduates, and we sang the student choir. Maki gave the farewell speech and the principal presented the diplomas.
After the graduation ceremony, I helped Maki clean and organize. We took down the banners and put the chairs into storage.
The graduates seemed nostalgic, taking pictures all over the campus. Some were even crying.
While trying to carry a sign from the school gate to the warehouse, I saw Yanagi hugging Tachibana behind the school building.
They were officially a couple.
Tachibana’s profile had become that of a girl I no longer knew.
—Hikari, wait a moment. Let me get my bag.
—OK.
Yanagi went to the opposite side of the street.
And after he disappeared, Tachibana-san turned to me.
Our eyes met for a moment, but that was it. We went our separate ways. That’s what should have happened, what we should have done from the beginning.
But…
—Kirishima, how well you’ve done. But are you sure you’re going to clean it up?
The person who spoke to me was the headmaster.
—Are you all right now? I was worried when I heard that you fainted at Ueno Station. So don’t try too hard.
The teacher patted me on the shoulder and walked away.
I was afraid to look back. How would Tachibana feel if she found out that I hadn’t let her down that day? I really didn’t want to let her go, but I can’t go back to the past, I can only go forward…
However, Tachibana stared at me with a dazed expression.
But when she looked at me, her frown became more and more pronounced and her face became stern. Then she suddenly looked confused and started biting her thumbnail. She seemed quite disturbed.
It was at that moment that she…
—Kirishima-kun, let’s go home!
Hayasaka, who had been looking for me, approached me with an innocent and cheerful voice.
At that moment, Tachibana-san’s expression turned extremely cold.
She looked at Hayasaka with eyes so sharp they could cut you, and her lips trembled until she said;
—I won’t forgive you. I will never forgive you.
***
A single thin thread was stretched to the limit, on the verge of breaking, creating an intense tension.
Tachibana’s eyes were filled with hatred and resentment. Hayasaka-san was unimpressed. In fact, she radiated an equally sharp emotionality.
—So you know.
Hayasaka-san’s innocent enthusiasm faded, and her eyes became more and more vacant.
—You don’t have to tell Kirishima-kun.
—Tell me what?
—It’s nothing, it’s a problem between Tachibana-san and me.
—I feel a lot of hatred right now.
Tachibana-san’s expression gets even colder.
—You have no shame. You deceive people and do despicable things at their expense.
—It was Tachibana-san who did despicable things first. You went ahead and broke your promises, pretending to be his girlfriend all the while. I endured it all appropriately!
Hayasaka-san raises her voice, then quickly calms down.
—But that doesn’t matter now. After all, you and Yanagi-senpai are fine, right? You shouldn’t even care.
—And who do you think is responsible for this?
Tachibana, who was overcome with anger, approached Hayasaka with a somber expression on her face. And since she didn’t hesitate for a second to physically harm Hayasaka, I put myself in the middle.
—Why are you protecting her? — she asked with a frustrated expression — That’s wrong, Shiro-kun, are you aware that if you had told me what happened to you, none of this would have happened…? Why did you remain silent?
The truth is, Tachibana had blocked all my contacts. And when she returned to school, she wanted to tell her everything that had happened. But to my surprise, she had already formalized her relationship with Yanagi.
That’s why I decided to leave things as they were, taking advantage of the fact that Tachibana had chosen Yanagi-senpai and opting for a soft landing. I wanted us to have a normal relationship from now on, and consider everything that happened as memories of the outbursts of my seventeen years. But…
—No, that’s not true. — Tachibana replied — I promised to be Yanagi-kun’s girlfriend because I was fulfilling the pact I made with Hayasaka-san. And the thing is, the one you did not choose would stay with him.
—Did you really make such a promise?
It’s true that Hayasaka was more interested in Yanagi at first, and by the end of the year, Tachibana had become her second choice as well. But the reason they made that promise was different from those circumstances.
When Tachibana made her point, Hayasaka peeked out from behind me and added her explanation.
—Yes, the reason we did it was because one of us ran the risk of being unhappy. And when you realized it, you would inevitably run to save her, and the cycle would repeat itself.
Their psychology in making that kind of promise was simple.
If they are not chosen, then they do not care.
They really put all their emotions into a relationship with me.
—But that means that you, Hayasaka-san, took advantage of that. You are a bad girl. Shiro-kun is not good for you.
—Tachibana-san, you’re no match for him either. One day, you’re going to disgrace Kirishima-kun! Weren’t you trying to run away with him? That’s ridiculous!
And so another monster battle began. Both Tachibana and Hayssaka did not restrain themselves at all.
Their emotions grew, and their words became louder and louder. Until…
—Hayasaka-san, you are only the second choice. Shiro-kun and I love each other first, it’s my first love, we are each other’s first, so it’s already gone!
—That…
Hearing that, Hayasaka felt intimidated.
—Everything you said on the phone was a lie, right? You haven’t done it with him yet, right? He’s not even your boyfriend. What a shame, I bet you tried everything, but you couldn’t make it happen, right? How pathetic you are.
—That’s not true… Kirishima-kun appreciates me…
Hayasaka lowered her voice completely and stuck to her own arguments.
—Tachibana-san was just used… You should give up already… I like Kirishima-kun too. After all, you already did it with him, right? So Kirishima-kun should be mine…
With an expression that looked like she was about to cry, Hayasaka-san was completely shaken.
The inferiority feeling of being second choice is something she feels deeply. There have been times lately when she seemed to be deliberately ignoring it, but deep in her heart, she understands it. Because that is the starting point of our relationship.
Hayasaka-san felt defeated.
But Tachibana-san is really angry.
—Well, if you insist, I’ll prove you wrong. — Tachibana-san said as she put her hand on the buttons of her blouse. —I will show you how Shiro-kun and I love each other.
***
The situation was incredibly tense.
Outside, near the room where all the sports equipment is stored.
Tachibana-san, with all the buttons on her blouse undone and only in her underwear, was squirming under my body.
And a little further away, Hayasaka, also in underwear and an open blouse, sat with her legs spread.
—I’ll show you.
—Okay, show me.
The three of us went into the gym where no one would see us. And as if everything had been decided, Tachibana asked me to do whatever came to my mind.
But there was no way I could get to something like that, my whole body was shaking and I went into shock.
Why do they want to do this now? What is going through their heads?
—Shiro-kun still doesn’t have the courage to do anything because you’re weak.
—That is how it is. Kirishima-kun is a scumbag, so we have to make him look like he hasn’t done anything wrong.
The two girls start to undress each other, and when they are in their blouses and underwear, they get down on their knees and touch each other’s breasts and underwear while kissing.
The humidity in the gym increases.
For about fifteen minutes, they both touched each other and moaned softly. Their white skin took on a reddish hue, sweat appeared, and saliva formed threads between their mouths.
The light coming through the small window made the dust shine.
An extremely beautiful and decadent world had been created. From there, Tachibana hugged me and fell down, while Hayasaka quickly sat up, completing the situation.
—Let’s hurry.
Tachibana-san said. Her intention was simple. I wanted to break Hayasaka’s heart by asking her to do it to me.
—Show me.
Hayasaka, on the other hand, probably didn’t think about anything. She just let herself go with the situation, and if she looked, she would only get hurt.
There was no way to justify it, it was the perfect scenario for a hard landing. If I did it with Tachibana now, Hayasaka would be hurt like never before, and if I rejected Tachibana and I did it with Hayasaka, Tachibana would probably never come back.
—You will not do it? — Tachibana asked.
—If Kirishima-kun doesn’t do it with me right now, I really will become someone else’s property.
And before I knew it, I was kissing Tachibana. The emotions around me were rising uncontrollably.
—Hey, Shirou-kun, tell me the truth. Would you mind if something happened between me and Yanagi-kun?
—Yes.
—I realized. Because, Shiro-kun, when Yanagi-kun hugged me, you had an intense look on your face. You were jealous, and I liked that.
—And you liked that?
—It was a very intense force. And Yanagi-kun knows it. I chose him by accident. But he really tried to make me his, and he wants me very much.
—Where did he touch you?
—In several places.
—Here too?
—Oh… In this place… Not yet… But if it continues like this, it won’t be long.
She hugged Tachibana’s body tightly. I love her fragile body.
When I touch her, she sighs and trembles adorably, expressing her pleasure through her body. I want her to tremble even more, so I put my hand inside her underwear and move my fingers. Tachibana’s waist rises and from her white belly to her thighs, everything becomes sensual.
—Mmm… Ahh… We’re supposed to go on a trip together during spring break.
Well, of course that kind of activity is included in the plan.
—Shiro-kun… Do you want me to tell you everything I’ve done… Nng… With him?
The sound of water filled the air and Tachibana’s soft body became more and more sensual. My fingers were hot.
I decided to insert my middle finger slightly and she let out a high-pitched moan, clinging to me as if searching for something.
Apparently Tachibana told Yanagi-senpai everything we’ve done. I think she intends to do the same or even more.
If things continue like this, she will become Yanagi-senpai’s pet, she will be subdued, and eventually they will…
I imagined the scene where Tachibana wore a necklace and was beaten by Yanagi. Only I should be able to do that to her.
—I don’t need to go on this trip either… If you want, I can stay with you and be your pet, Shiro-kun.
Instead of answering, I hugged Tachibana. She had wanted to do that for a long time. I probably pressed too hard and it must have hurt, but she asked me for “more”.
Hayasaka looked at us with a lost look in her eyes.
So I began to manipulate her body, which reacted in an interesting way. She bent it in an arc, made it raise its hips, the color of her underwear became darker and I loved it.
—Shiro-kun…
Tachibana-san lay down on the tatami, moving her inner thighs restlessly, and spoke in a dull voice.
—Take more care of me…
She had a look on her face that said she couldn’t take it anymore.
—If you don’t like Yanagi-kun touching me… You can punish me.
Honestly, it’s not something I like to do right now. But if I don’t do anything…
—Shiro-kun is so cruel…
Saying that, she spread her smooth white legs herself. Then she moved her wet underwear with her finger. That was when I noticed something pink greeting me.
The girl, usually cold, but in love, with her body on fire and shyly asking for more, opens up and asks for more.
I put my hand on the buckle of my belt.
At the end of the day, even though I tried to be shy and say that I wanted her to find a new love and be happy, deep down I wanted her to love me forever and I didn’t want to give her to anyone else.
In other words, I didn’t want her to end up in Yanagi’s arms.
I really wanted to f*ck Tachibana more. I wanted to make love and melt into slush. I wanted to repeat that pleasant night in Kyoto, make her come to the bathroom again, make her cry, pat her on the head, comfort her, sleep with her, and go on and on and on.
But I also felt an equally strong attraction to Hayasaka, and so I escaped having to choose between one or the other, and everything became confusing.
It was just a fool in love. I wanted to immerse myself in the love of both of them, so I didn’t really want to give up on either of them. I wanted to pamper them and fill them with love to the point of ruining them. I wanted to experience the intoxicating feeling of this kind of mud.
So I rubbed my crotch with Tachibana’s. There was no preparation, it just went on. Until the tip touched her entrance and Tachibana looked at me with wet eyes full of expectation.
—No… That’s not right… Kirishima-kun… This is not right. — Hayasaka said with an expression that seemed to be on the verge of tears — Please stop…
—I am sorry, Hayasaka-san.
I had already made up my mind. Destroy Tachibana and hurt Hayasaka like a complete idiot.
And it’s not like I had no choice. In fact, that’s what I want.
Without thinking, I put my p*nis into Tachibana’s v**ina.
It was a narrow place, and there was a pressure pushing me. But it is so wet, with drops falling on the tatami, that if I keep pushing, I can enter completely.
Tachibana-san’s insides were hot. As she squeezed me, I felt her pleasure.
—It is incredible… Feeling Shiro-kun inside me…
Tachibana was ecstatic about the act.
—Come here…
While he covered her, Tachibana put his hands around my head and back and crossed her legs behind her back.
—I cannot move.
—I love you, Shiro-kun, ah… Shiro-kun.
But I didn’t have to move.
Tachibana began to pant, following her instincts, squeezing her hips from below and moving them from side to side. All she had to do was stroke her hair.
But deep inside, she wanted to disturb her in some way. She wanted to provoke her even more. So I lifted my body, held her thighs and began to move my body.
It was a pleasant feeling. Every time she went in and out, the sound of the water rose and made her gasp softly.
I started pushing her slender body and p*n*trated her deeply. And the more she did it, the more present her moans became.
The sound of gasping and the ticking of the water in a constant rhythm.
So I urged her to watch as our parts collided.
—N–No!
Tachibana blushed and covered her face with both hands.
My p*nis was soaked with her fluids, and when she moved and shook it, it bubbled white.
sHe was probably trying to hide it, but She lifted her own hips and led them towards her. It was at that moment that…
—Aaaah!
She had made it. Tachibana’s hips began to move in small steps.
—No, no, no, don’t look at it, Shiro-kun, don’t look at it.
Tachibana continued to shake her own hips. She shouted repeatedly that she was ashamed and embarrassed. But her hips didn’t stop shaking, and finally she turned her body around and pressed her hips down hard while moaning that she was screaming, and that’s when she finally relaxed.
I had already accomplished my mission with her. Breathlessly, she expressed the wishes she had always kept deep in her heart.
—I want you to treat me like a dog… And ask me for anything you want…
I am not an artist of exclusion.
I don’t want to exclude what really exists, ignore it, and create an artificially beautiful story to unconsciously enjoy.
We have wishes and desires, we do not ignore them. We don’t pretend that they don’t exist.
So I make Tachibana get down on all fours and we do it from behind.
Her arched back is seductive.
—Hah… Hah…
She starts to moan softly into his mouth.
—Why are you doing this?
—Because… I want Shiro-kun to adore me, to take care of me and I want to be his pet. — Tachibana said provocatively — I know what you were thinking that day at the pool.
That day… She was practicing her breaststroke when Yanagi grabbed her leg. She was wearing a skimpy swimsuit while Senpai had her in a vulnerable position.
—You can punish me for what I did… It’s okay. I don’t mind.
As soon as Tachibana said that, I slapped her bottom. That made her moan sweetly. And then I repeated the same thing.
But this time her fluids fell out of her v**ina and splashed on the tatami.
—Ah, Shiro, wait a minute, this… I can’t take it anymore… — Tachibana said as her waist shook again.
Even though I heard her plea, deep inside, I didn’t want to stop. I really wanted to continue.
—I… I can’t take it anymore, I feel like I won’t be able to withstand another blow…
Tachibana’s entire body was shaking, and it looked like he would collapse at any moment.
However, at that moment, a voice was heard from outside the gym.
—Hikari~ Where are you? Hikari~”
Yanagi was back. So Tachibana suppressed her voice as quickly as possible.
But I won’t let that happen, so I will be as aggressive as she wants and I will punish her in a thousand ways.
—Ah… No… No more… This is… Unbelievable…. I, I feel like… I’m going to… Coming…
Tachibana tried to muffle her voice, but when I grabbed her arms and forced her into a doggy position, she began to moan in a high-pitched voice. Perhaps from the pleasure of being dominated and p*n*trated like an animal.
Yanagi’s voice calling Tachibana suddenly stopped. Obviously, he had heard her moaning.
On the other hand, Tachibana did not seem to be aware of what was happening. And then…
—Shiro, I love you, Shiro, Shiro!
She repeated my name loudly, screaming as she gasped and her body shook again and again before she fell exhausted onto the mat.
Tachibana’s breath and mine intertwined. Senpai Yanagi’s voice could no longer be heard, causing him to disappear amidst all the fervor.
—…I have become Shiro’s only girl. Let’s hug each other… While we kiss, okay?
In those moments, Tachibana seemed to be a pure and sincere girl.
This time I was the one who spread Tachibana’s legs. She was completely devoted and her body trembled like a white fish the moment I entered.
Her eyes overflowed with passion as she looked at me, her mouth half open, our saliva mixing.
I wanted to do everything with Tachibana. Even the things that should not be done. Until the end.
—Stop now. — Hayasaka said as she lunged at me and held on tightly.
Hayasaka had been crying for a while. And she didn’t just shed tears. She was sobbing like a child.
—Enough, this is terrible, why do you keep doing this?
Hayasaka was deeply hurt. She could no longer bear to watch the scene unfold in front of her.
—It is time to stop. You hurt me, Kirishima-kun, and you promised to always take care of me, why? Why do you keep making me feel like this?
Ignoring Hayasaka’s questions and at the same time being overcome by her excitement, I couldn’t stand it anymore and took her by the waist and walked over to give her a kiss.
—Aaah… I think so…
I unhooked her pink bra with one hand, while with the other I began to touch her large, soft breasts.
—I’m going to continue being the fool again, ehehe, I like it.
Hayasaka-san immediately softened as her crotch became noticeably wet.
—Do it to me too, I can definitely make Kirishima-kun feel good.
Hayasaka-san started to suck my tongue and then put it in her mouth.
—Come with me Kirishima-kun, I want to feel you inside me.
—No, no. Just me, just me. — Tachibana replied weakly.
She barely had the strength to speak, but she had enough to continue to press her crotch against mine and make a face as if she were about to cry.
Honestly, I feel like she’s in heaven.
I’m kissing my second favorite girl while f***ing my number one… Yeah. I’m a repulsive being.
It’s my vice, it’s Shiro Kirishima’s vice… But…
—What? Why?! — Hayasaka asked confused.
And that is because I removed my hands from Hayasaka’s breasts and then completely separated our bodies.
—No… Don’t leave me, Kirishima-kun. I’ll do it, I’ll give you all of me!
When I turned to Tachibana, Hayasaka began to cry with a voice that couldn’t be louder.
It was like watching a girl cry because she had lost what she loved most.
But I couldn’t go on with this vicious circle where we all hurt each other. It was time to end this triangle once and for all.
Today, someone was going to get hurt… And that someone would be Hayasaka.
When I heard Hayasaka’s cry, I p*n*trated Tachibana deeply. She understood the meaning and expressed her joy with her whole body.
—You can do whatever you want to me, I’m happy… Very happy, Shiro-kun, finish me off.
From then on it was incredible to do it again with Tachibana. She swallowed every drop of my fluids, she licked the sweat from my neck, her body trembled every second, it was as if our whole body was connected.
—Shiro-kun, I can’t, I really can’t.
Tachibana starts clawing at my skin as if she can’t handle too much pleasure. That feels good.
—Let’s do it… Together… Until the end…
Tachibana-san’s body jumped and tensed.
That’s when I decided to finish inside her once again.
***
I felt weak.
Tachibana hugged me, stroked my head and lovingly licked my sweat. While Hayasaka stared into space with a stunned expression.
—…There is no love for me after all… If Kirishima-kun had chosen me, he would have hugged me even more affectionately… You are just being used…
Tachibana did not react to Hayasaka’s words. Instead, she slipped out from under my body and showed him her crotch.
And from there, she drained our fluids, which were mixed in her v**ina.
Seeing this, Hayasaka became so angry that she stood up and lunged at Tachibana.
They both rolled on the floor until Hayasaka was on top of her.
When I tried to stop her, Tachibana stopped me and said: “It’s okay”. This caused Hayasaka to hit her repeatedly.
After she stopped, Tachibana asked her a question in a mocking tone.
—Are you finished? I can’t wait to be alone with Shiro-kun.
Hayasaka’s shoulders slumped.
I thought everything had reached a dead end. And that nothing more would happen.
But…
—This is ridiculous… — Hayasaka said with a melancholic voice — You are not a good girl, Tachibana-san, you are a danger.
—Don’t waste your spit, Shiro-kun has already made his choice. Now I’m his girl and you’re just a sad memory. I have nothing more to say to you.
Hayasaka turns to look at me and then lowers his head.
—I’m sorry Kirishima-kun, I don’t think he can keep my promise.
Wait… No, Hayasaka, don’t tell me what…
—Tachibana-san, do you like Kirishima-kun?
—More than you can imagine.
—And would you be able to hurt him?
—Of course not. I want to devote myself to him forever, I love him.
—I see. I guess that’s what you pretend to be, what you want to be. But what if it’s not? What if you hurt him? Would you be able to forgive yourself?
—Yes, I would. But what does that have to do with it? I would never hurt Shiro-kun.
—You’re wrong, Tachibana-san… Do you remember when Kirishima-kun fell down the stairs at Tokyo Station?
—Huh? What does that have to do with this?
—You don’t remember that, do you? Okay, I guess that’s natural, since… You conveniently erased that memory from your mind. And do you know why? Because you couldn’t stand it, you didn’t want to take responsibility for what you did, because you’re selfish, you’re cruel, and you don’t care if you hurt others when you don’t get what you want. And that includes the person you claim to love… Yes, it was you who pushed Kirishima down the stairs that day, Tachibana-san.
That day, I tried to intervene to stop the fight between Tachibana and Hayasaka. Of course, I ended up protecting Hayasaka.
Tachibana didn’t like that at all. So she pushed me down the stairs with all her strength.
That was the truth I didn’t tell Hamanami. And that is the reason why Tachibana’s mother took care of all the medical expenses.
Kunimi said it was better not to tell the truth to a broken girl.
And unfortunately for me, the broken girl was Tachibana.
***
—I didn’t want to tell you because I promised Kirishima-kun. And he is also someone I have always wanted to erase from my memory. But things are different now.
Through tears, Hayasaka begins to tremble and tells Tachibana the truth.
—And it’s because, Kirishima-kun, you didn’t choose her. You are only with her because she is broken, because she needs your attention. Because she is weak without you.
Tachibana was stunned when she heard this, unable to believe what she was hearing.
—I confess, what I told you on the phone that night was a lie. I never did it with Kirishima-kun, but I wanted you to stay away from him, because while he was on his way to see you because of your spoiled and selfish outburst, he fainted and had to go to the hospital. All because of the injury you caused him.
Hayasaka probably didn’t mean any of that. You could see it in her face and in her breathy voice.
—Kirishima-kun, you want to stay by Tachibana’s side and keep all these secrets. Because she’s broken, because you care about her. And she doesn’t even think about you. She doesn’t even think about your health, in all this time, she never knew that you were still going to your doctor’s checkups. And do you know why?
After saying that, Hayasaka covered her face.
—Because she only thinks of herself.
Hayasaka burst into tears again.
Tachibana stared blankly into the air for a while, then grabbed his head and let out a long cry of pain.
The whole passionate frenzy ended in agony.
***
“I want to be your second girlfriend.” Hayasaka said and held up two fingers.
She was a girl who liked to hold hands and hug each other.
I loved watching her eat candy eagerly, and I loved watching her fall asleep during late-night movies.
I wanted to see her smile.
But now Hayasaka was deeply hurt, covering her face and crying.
Tachibana, who seemed cold, but was actually an incurable romantic.
I liked to listen to her play the piano from the other side of the wall.
She longed for small happiness and had a good relationship with my mother and sister.
When we sat together at the kotatsu on New Year’s Eve, it really seemed as if Tachibana had become part of my family.
I just wanted to sincerely accept and appreciate each of them: their feelings, personalities and desires, even if they went against social norms and were questioned by others.
Hayasaka, who was not a conventional girl.
Tachibana, who did not care about social conventions.
She wanted to accept them as they were and affirm their value.
I could have imposed my own values and society’s values on them, but I didn’t want to ignore the feelings that were present at that moment.
Loving someone is something that in its essence has different forms for each individual and cannot have the same form for everyone. It can’t have the same form as a story lying around.
So I was looking for our own form of love. I thought that way we could be happy. But what happened?
It is true that I am a despicable person. But I really wanted to make them both happy. How could it end like this?
Hayasaka’s and Tachibana’s cries echoed in my ears.
I wanted to apologize to them. I wanted to hug them and stroke their heads while telling them that everything would be okay, that it was all my fault.
But that had to be done at the same time, and he only had one pair of arms.
There was nothing more he could do.
Everything had fallen apart.
That is what I thought.
***
In April, when I arrived at school, I went straight to the bulletin board.
There was a change of classes.
No matter how hard I looked, I couldn’t find their names.
Hayasaka had transferred to another school and Tachibana had dropped out.
