Chapter 8: False happiness

False happiness

There always comes a point in our life when we will be in a scenario where we wish we could just run away. Either because we were forced to be in such a place, or because of our own past choices. And I’m not exaggerating when I say I feel that way. I was at a Christmas party organized by our classroom. It was Maki’s wonderful idea, everyone agreed to do it, and that’s why I find myself here torturing myself in the worst possible way.

But surely you must be wondering why it would be torture. The reason is simple, I’m sitting on a couch in the corner of the living room next to Sakai Fumi while watching Hayasaka-san dressed up as a very sexy Santa Claus in the middle of two big and strong boys. Obviously she’s not the only one dressed up, most of the girls are dressed up too, but I suppose you might have guessed by now that Hayasaka-san’s costume is the one that stands out the most among all of them and the one that grabs all the looks from guys.

The room was equipped with all kinds of entertainment, karaoke, a dart board and billiards. But most of the people present were just sitting on the couch and chatting among themselves, all the topics of conversation were very banal. 

On one hand, there were conversations about the impending and exciting Christmas Day, and on the other, groups of guys who had no partner, and were planning ways to approach the girls who were free.

Then there was Sakai and I, just observing the room from our lonely sofa.

—Those guys who keep Hayasaka-san company are from other schools, right?

—Yeah, we were allowed to invite acquaintances or friends in order to save the cost of renting the place.

—I see… Is it me or are those guys trying to seduce Hayasaka-san?

—You’re not wrong, they do it for the reason that they are from other schools, and they won’t have to face the painful reality if they turn out to be rejected by her. They are strong and tanned guys, so I guess they will be in some club that involves sports, also from their way of approaching Akane, it seems that they are willing to achieve something with her today.

While I was talking to Sakai, one of the boys came closer to Hayasaka-san while she was smiling kindly at them. My jealousy came over me, so I involuntarily looked away. 

I tried hard not to want to know anything, but Sakai was playing against me, so she started to describe every single thing Hayasaka-san was doing with both boys. She took the box of Pocky that was on the table, and gave them one in their mouths, all the while praising them for being people who exercised. All this was described to me by Sakai, so I tried to escape from this torturous reality. I rummaged through my bag but found nothing useful.

My breathing started to hitch and become much heavier. So Sakai handed me a book of poems written by Miyazawa Kenji, it was called Spring and Asura. It was perfect, it will definitely help me endure this bad time.

Sakai Fumi continued to narrate everything that Hayasaka-san was doing. In turn, I tried my best to distort what my ears were hearing and focus on the sea of letters in front of me.

But it turned out to be useless, I slammed the book shut and then covered my face with my hands.

—If you’re so jealous, why don’t you confront her? You know what you have to do to make Akane fall madly in love with you.

—That’s easy for you to say…

—You don’t want to hurt Tachibana-san, do you? Well, if you keep it up, don’t expect Akane not to fight for her own happiness too.

I looked back to where Hayasaka-san was standing, she was laughing happily. It makes me feel bad to see her so happy if it’s not with me. Could it be my Christmas that makes me believe that it was only me who was the privileged one who could have that laughter from her? 

—Look at this, it will put you in a very good mood — Sakai said while pointing to the table in front of us.

There was white powder on the tissue. This is called the white powder of happiness, it seems that if you inhale it, it will have a positive effect on your head. 

—Definitely not! You’re crazy! What is that doing here?!

—It’s probably stuff from the party Maki had prepared.

I don’t know how much of a good idea it is to have this kind of thing in this place. We could be in serious trouble with the law if we don’t do something about it.

—Now that I think about it Kirishima, I’ve seen Maki having these back-and-forth ideas with the head of the chemistry department. 

—So it’s real…

I felt very terrified about the thing in front of me. But that feeling disappeared as soon as I heard Hayasaka-san’s voice with a slightly pleasant tone. And to my surprise, one of the guys was giving her a massage on her shoulders. My anger was to such an extent that I clenched my fists and gritted my teeth. Sakai, who noticed this, tried to reassure me while patting me on the shoulder.

—I haven’t stopped having a bad time since I got here, that’s not counting all the stress accumulated over the past few days. I want to forget it all, if only for a little while…

She then looked back at the white powder, as if signalling to me what to do, I picked up a straw, proceeded to plug one of my nostrils with my finger, and inhaled the white powder that was on the table.

***********

It’s not the first time Hayasaka-san has been with guys other than me. It’s been like that for a while now. She has always been a very popular girl, and she hasn’t rejected men as strongly as Tachibana-san has, so at first glance you could say that she hasn’t changed that much. Of course, this is something I realized. On the other hand, the guys in the class could indeed notice that little change, I could tell this because of the conversations I have overheard in and out of the classroom. 

Everyone usually comments on how much she has changed, the refreshing air that is now perceived from her, it is as if she has broken a wall from which prevented her from showing that warm personality she possesses.

It’s not that Hayasaka-san is now disinterested in me, it’s just that she is now much more open to wanting to get hold of more men. But I can’t help but think that our relationship has been gradually changing, I feel more disinterest on her part. 

Despite everything, she has been very kind to me and supported me when I had problems related to Tachibana-san and Yanagi-senpai. The most recent one was during class, I was sitting on the staircase landing, lamenting, when she came up to me and comforted me. As soon as I saw her, I felt very happy because she was beside me with a warm smile. Naturally, I hugged her back, feeling her body warmth was a feeling I missed a lot, and so did she because she expressed it so happily.

—It’s been a long time since Kirishima-kun hugged me. I’m so happy. — She said while pressing her face into my chest — Hehe, I’m drooling. 

Hayasaka-san always seems to be cheerful and emotionally stable. No matter what time of the day it is, you’ll always see her with that expression on her face. Honestly, it worries me a little.

That same day I had to work, so did Hayasaka-san, so we decided to go home together, and we walked through an alley for a moment so we could hold hands without being seen by anyone.

—There’s something I want to ask you, Hayasaka-san.

—What?

—What did you mean about going bowling?

During the break time, a group of boys invited Hayasaka-san to go bowling, and she accepted the invitation, but there was something that made me uncomfortable, and that was that she was going to be the only girl.

—I see Kirishima-kun is jealous~ — she said as she smiled and extended her arms to hug me. 

I hugged her back and she placed her hands on the back of my neck, so that my head was on her shoulders. 

—It’s okay, Kirishima-kun, you can rest assured, I’m not going anywhere. But, it’s kind of unfair, you know, you can’t help it as long as I don’t try to go out and have fun with other guys while you keep creeping around Tachibana-san.

Hayasaka-san broke away from me and stared at me. Her posture made it clear that she was very serious about whats he was saying.

—I feel hurt because you don’t touch me, you don’t look at me, and you make me feel unattractive. Sometimes I tend to think I’m worthless, and that breaks me into a thousand pieces…

Her smile still hasn’t disappeared from her face. She took a short pause and continued speaking.

—When I see the way other guys look at me, the way they want me and want to touch me… It makes me feel that I do have value as a woman. And that I still have a chance to stay by your side, Kirishima-kun.

Hayasaka-san lately has been visiting a coffee shop to meet Yanagi-senpai and ask for love advice. 

—As you know, I’ve been talking to Yanagi-senpai, and he’s very worried about me. I think both Tachibana-san and I are confused.

The methods Yanagi-senpai is resorting to in order to get Tachibana-san’s heart goes against everything established by the status quo. I did not respond to Hayasaka-san’s words, so I just took her by the hand and continued on our way.

I don’t know what to say to her, my brain can’t keep up with what she’s saying and the tension in my head. 

—I’m trying hard not to like you too much, do you know how hard that is, Kirishima-kun? I know I’m second, and I’m forced to have to share the person I love with someone else. That hurts me, it tears me apart, and I can’t go on like this. I don’t want to suffer anymore.

Hayasaka-san was saying very strong words with a smile on her face. She asked me why she keeps torturing herself like that.

—But you worry about me, Kirishima-kun. You can use me whenever it suits you. I don’t care how much you hurt me. Because I know the other guys will let me know that I continued to be worth it.

—Why do you say things like that…?

—Hehe… Because if I don’t… I might end up being with another guy, and I don’t want that… Everything I do is for you, Kirishima-kun.

*****************

Since inhaling that white powder, I’ve felt my brain melt. The cups on the table look bigger, and the food I’ve eaten in the past week comes into my brain in photo-sequential order. 

Sakai, on the other hand, was still sitting next to me and seemed to be enjoying the moment.

—How did you know that’s supposed to be snorted up your nose?

—Well, I’ve seen it in a lot of movies.

Sakai’s lips were moving very slowly. And the voices of everyone present were clearly audible, Including Hayasaka-san’s along with the two men beside her. My senses were getting sharper and sharper, perhaps due to the white powder. 

I continued to not want to hear or see anything. So I averted my gaze again and removed my headphones from my bag to put them in my ears. Immediately, a torrent of sound invaded my eardrums. Causing me to be absorbed in my world. I could see Sakai beckoning me, but I couldn’t hear her at all, and I just stood there without doing or saying anything. I wanted to enjoy the moment.

—Stop behaving like this, face reality! 

Sakai grabbed my head, and turned me towards where Hayasaka-san was. I saw her playing darts with them, one of the headphones moved a little, causing the sound from outside to filter through, and that’s when I heard one of the boys saying that if he won, Hayasaka-san would have to give him her phone number. Hayasaka-san laughed at this proposal, and as was inevitable for me, jealousy took over my whole body and mind.

—Sakai… Take off your glasses.

—Huh? Why?

—If you show your charms, those guys will leave Hayasaka-san and come here.

—That’s precisely the reason why I’m wearing these glasses and this outfit, those guys are a pain in the ass…

—Just take them off!

—Well… okay, just for you, Kirishima. — Sakai replied as her cheeks blushed slightly.

As soon as she took off her glasses and arranged her bangs to reveal her face, I was stunned by her beauty, I even found her sexy. 

—Fuck this. I’ve always wanted to have you for myself, Kirishima. Akane and Tachibana-san are girls, so I’m going to have you all to myself. 

As soon as she said that, Sakai proceeded to put her lips on mine. It was a totally perplexing situation for all the people present in the room. Our kiss was so passionate and dirty at the same time that I felt like I would become a part of Sakai. 

—Kirishima, Kirishima, Kirishima!

—Mmm?

I opened my eyes and the person in my line of sight was Sakai, she had her glasses on and the same hairstyle. 

—Sakai, what happened?

—Well, after sniffing that stuff you fell unconscious on the couch, so I was trying to wake you up.

I see, so it was just a hallucination… Of course, nothing that happened between us was real, as expected.

—If you can’t stand seeing Akane with other men, why don’t you go to her and tell her how you feel? I’m sure she’ll do anything that comes from you.

—I… I don’t think it’s right.

—Kirishima, you can’t go through life afraid of not acting because your actions may trigger misfortune. That’s life, an action brings a reaction. 

This Sakai scares me, I prefer the Sakai from before, give her back to me.

—Why don’t you do what Akane has been asking you to do for a long time? Don’t you realize that it is you who must act? Akane and Tachibana-san are willing to even destroy you as long as one of them stays with you.

My eyes meet Hayasaka-san’s eyes. She throws me a smile and continues to learn how to play darts with one of the guys. He tries to adjust her standing position by grabbing her by both shoulders so that her body is perpendicular to the dartboard. 

Clearly that guy is not interested in teaching her how to play darts, he just wants an excuse to touch her body.

Trying to erase what my eyes had just witnessed, I snorted the white powder over and over again. 

—No matter how many times you do that, it won’t change the reality in front of you.

Everyone is trying to tell me what to do as if I don’t know. Of course I want to do such an act with Hayasaka-san, I know that if I do that she will do me to the core and have no eyes for other men. I wish to do that with all my might. But if I do it, Tachibana-san will get hurt, and I don’t want that.

No matter which one I do it with, someone will get hurt, and the other will be very angry too. There’s a reason why rules have been imposed in this relationship. I know the only solution to this is for me to choose one of the two. 

But they won’t let me do that either, and it’s because deep down they’re afraid of losing the position they’re in. Neither wants to lose, but neither wants to keep sharing with me. Which creates confusion, we are stuck, we can’t move forward or backward, and that makes me even more confused.

—I know you’re not stupid, Kirishima. You have a master plan, right? Each person falls in love as their heart tells them to, and Kirishima loves both Akane and Tachibana-san, so you plan to do it with both of them, and this way they will be madly in love with you… Or am I wrong?

—Good way of looking at things. Except for one detail… As soon as I do it with one of them first, the other one will find out, and she’ll be very upset. 

—You just have to make sure Akane doesn’t find out about your relationship with Tachibana-san and vice versa.

—It’s not that easy… What do you think Hayasaka-san would think if she saw me walking to school holding hands with Tachibana-san? She’ll realize that I lied to her. It’s impossible.

—It’s not impossible.

—How do you know that?

—Because you have a plan.

Sakai really is a very clever girl. Indeed, I have a plan.

If Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san are not in contact and far away from each other in terms of location, I would tell Tachibana-san that I’m done with Hayasaka-san to be with her. And the same thing I would tell Hayasaka-san regarding Tachibana-san. This way I could have sex with both of them without the other knowing. 

The possibility of such a situation exists. This is a plan that I’ve been secretly working on, but I’m still not sure whether to implement it, since it’s so cruel, I could destroy Hayasaka-san and Tachibana-san’s feelings for my own benefit. It is the master plan made by a piece of scum.

—Don’t worry about the consequences, Kirishima. Do whatever it takes to get what you want most. It doesn’t matter what people think, it doesn’t matter if what you do is wrong, if they will label you as scum or selfish. Look out for your own good and benefits. Do it, approve your ultimate master plan.

Despite Sakai Fumi’s words, and as much as I would love to do it. I don’t think I have the ability to execute it. 

I was supposed to seek happiness for myself and the one I love. That would be the basis of my relationship. But it is true that between both parties asking me to do something specific to make their feelings and love for me much stronger than they are now, this does nothing but generate a conflict between reasoning and instincts. 

Which path should I choose, what is the right answer? I need clues, a sign, every time I try to think, everything begins to distort around me. My head feels like it is spinning uncontrollably, I can’t think clearly… I… I… I… I feel as if everything is so light….

*************

I was in a cubicle in the bathroom leaning over the toilet. The headache I had was as if my brain was being drilled. I had vomited a couple of times, but no sign of food, just saliva and bile.

—Are you feeling better?

Hayasaka-san asked in a Santa Claus costume while rubbing my back. My consciousness is quite lethargic, so I couldn’t tell for sure if she was a figment of my imagination, or reality.

—Did you go into the men’s room with me?

—Yes, I was very worried about you, so I had no choice. I also made sure there was no other man in here of course. So if someone comes in, it’s better not to make noise so as not to arouse suspicion.

It seems I haven’t been in this place for long.

—Hey Kirishima-kun, a while ago you made quite a colorful scene. You got up out of nowhere from that couch, stood up on the table, rapped a song and were even taking off your shirt.

—Did I really do that…?

—Yeah, and you know what I liked? That you kept looking at me, hehe… You’re a weak, pathetic, pitiful boy. — She said while holding my head from the back.

—Hey, Hayasaka-san, I’m not at my best time for you to provoke me. 

After that Hayasaka-san started talking to me about what she did at her job, how much she had become accustomed to men coming up to her, complimenting her, whispering things in her ear, or even going so far as to insinuate themselves to her in indecent ways. 

She told me how a middle-aged man asked her if she would agree to be with hi for one night for 300,000 yen. She began to tell me her doubts about what would have happened if she accepted such an offer, how much the man would touch her or what he would make her do. 

It was not only the middle-aged man, but also gang members who visit the place where Hayasaka-san works, and even invited her to a hotel room. Clearly, depraved acts would be the main focus in a place like that.

I don’t know if I was still under the influence of the white powder, but every word Hayasaka-san said to me, it was as if images were being projected in my brain. It was very painful and frustrating to bear.

She also told me how the guys she was with a while ago kept hinting at her to leave this place and go somewhere else quieter. Because of the physique of both men and the way they acted, they are the kind of people who are not used to taking no for an answer, this would clearly put Hayasaka-san in a weak position, making her have to do things she did not want to do with that pair of brutes. 

Like me, Hayasaka-san was also under the influence of Maki’s white powder. So she was feeling a bit awkward and at the same time more active. 

—It’s quite frustrating, Kirishima-kun. I’m here, wanting you, and you do nothing. I’ve been trying so hard to get you to come closer to me all this time, and you just watched me. And I don’t know if I can resist it anymore… You know, if you don’t do something soon, I think I’ll end up doing it with someone else. 

I couldn’t help but get angry when I heard those words. I was already stressed enough because of everything I’ve been going through, and I’m not going to look away anymore.

—What are you talking about? If it was you and Tachibana-san who put up more rules that prevent me from doing it with you! — I shouted as I stood up and slammed Hayasaka-san against the cubicle wall. 

—You don’t need to put it inside me, there are many other things you can do. 

Hayasaka-san bit her lips provocatively as she said that.

—Hey, if you really love me and want me, prove it to me. Let me know that I’m worth it, Kirishima-kun, let me know that you like me, let me know that you want me for yourself.

In the middle of those words, I got down on my knees on the ground, and stuck my head inside Hayasaka-san’s skirt. But…

—Kirishima-kun, you’re being too rough.

Hayasaka-san sounded puzzled. Her sexy and provocative tone had disappeared. What was in front of me now was an embarrassed and shy Hayasaka-san. Her sexy expression vanished, and what appeared was her same old childish expression.

—Why have you become so stubborn Hayasaka-san? 

—I’m not being stubborn! It’s just that… I didn’t think you were going to do it, so I…

—What? Do you think you’ll want to do it with other men?

—It’s not like that! I… I just wanted to get your attention, Kirishima-kun… I don’t want you to do this out of obligation…

So that’s what it was…

—Hayasaka-san, I’m going to enjoy your body, so don’t resist. — I said while putting my head back inside her skirt.

—Please treat me kindly

Hayasaka-san says this with some embarrassment. 

Maybe it’s because of the white powder… But… I feel that my whole body is warm… And my crotch… It feels tingly…

Hayasaka-san proceeded to lift up her skirt herself.

I still don’t know if this is reality or a hallucination. In any case, we have no control over our minds and bodies, there was no way at all to stop this, so we had no choice but to do it.

*******************

The border between reality and fiction was null. Everything felt like a dream of which you are aware, and you can do anything, even deform reality to your whims.

I knelt on the floor, and put my head inside Hayasaka-san’s skirt, who remained standing, so I pressed my face against her underwear. I could feel it with the tip of my nose… That’s when I inhaled deeply.

—Don’t do that, Kirishima-kun… It’s… Very embarrassing….

The tone of voice with which Hayasaka-san said it was very brittle, she looked like she was about to cry. She may behave like the bad girl she tries to appear to be, and yes, I must admit she’s aggressive in many other ways too, but at the end of the day, I like her awkward side much better. I’m glad she’s back to normal. I proceeded to inhale repeatedly, and each time I did so, Hayasaka-san replied in denial as if she was about to cry. And deep in the back of my head I could hear Sakai’s voice saying, “Do it! Do it!

After inhaling Hayasaka-san’s scent, the next thing I did was to run my tongue over her underwear.

—No… Kirishima… Kun… Kun… I… I didn’t take a shower… Aaah….

Hayasaka-san grabs my head with both hands, and without paying attention to her I continued licking. 

—Kirishima-kun, this… It’s amazing….

Every time I pressed my tongue, Hayasaka-san’s hips reacted. She leaned forward, and tried to escape, so I put my hands behind her thighs and held her as tight as I could.

—Aaaah… Kirishima-kun… Aaaah….!

Hayasaka-san’s expressions and the way her body reacted was pure pleasure for me. The moans and movement of her hips didn’t stop, but started to become more present. 

A liquid begins to seep from her underwear, and slides down her thighs. As soon as I lick this, Hayasaka-san lets out a very loud and lovely scream. A few seconds later, someone enters the bathroom.

I hastened to bring the fingers of my hand toward her mouth so that she can suck on my fingers to stop her scream. Hayasaka-san’s mouth was very hot and wet. The sound of lollipops echoed faintly, and the two men who came in seemed not to have noticed our presence, so they proceeded to carry on with their conversation between the two of them. And the topic that was the center of attention was none other than Hayasaka-san.

—That girl, Hayasaka Akane, sure is very sexy.

The two men who came in were the same ones who were sitting next to Hayasaka-san, and as they went about their business, they talked obscenely about her. 

—I would love to kiss her. 

As soon as I heard this, I stood up, pulled my fingers out of her mouth, and started kissing her.

—I wonder what that beautiful tongue of hers tastes like.

Hearing that, I proceeded to grab Hayasaka-san’s tongue, and start sucking on it with all my might.

—Yes, she has wonderful breasts too. I’d like to grab them. 

The next thing I did was to grab Hayasaka-san’s breasts tightly and mold them to my foresight.

—Why stop there when you can suck them?

Hayasaka-san proceeds to lift up her top, and takes off her bra and then drops it to the floor. And without thinking of anything else, I brought my mouth close to her breasts and started sucking on them.

The next thing I did was to put my hand inside her underwear, where I moved my fingers very hard, which caused a large amount of liquid to be generated in her crotch, and completely soaked my fingers, and in turn, it began to drip onto the floor.

Hayasaka-san’s panting became more and more intense, and her breathing was exaggeratedly hurried. From then on, we did exactly every single thing the two guys commented out loud. Everything but doing what is forbidden.

As soon as the two men came out of the bathroom, Hayasaka-san looked unrecognizable. 

—I… I… I’m really glad that Kirishima-kun likes me.

Hayasaka-san clung to me with moist eyes. As soon as I saw her directly, Sakai’s voice popped into my head, she kept telling me how well I had done. I just needed to deliver the final blow so that Hayasaka-san would be head over heels in love with me, so no man could take her away from me.

So, I proceeded to pull Hayasaka-san’s skirt up a little higher, and then put aside her fluid-soaked underwear. I brought my mouth closer, and with my tongue out, I directly licked her forbidden fruit.

Hayasaka-san’s whole body began to tremble as she gasped and screamed at the top of her lungs. She was trying to excuse herself that what she was experiencing was not her own, but the result of the white powder ingested thanks to Maki.

—I’m going to cum!!! Kirishima-kun!!!!

That’s when Hayasaka-san started to squirm and shake more than usual.

—I want to feel you more, Kirishima-kun, I want to feel your kisses, your hugs, I want to feel that you care about me!

I could notice a tone of sadness in Hayasaka-san’s words, so I stopped licking, stood up and hugged her, then proceeded to lift her right leg and press my crotch into hers, just as we had done at the love hotel. The change of mood was noticeable as she did this, and as if she hadn’t minded at all that I had been licking her down there, she began to kiss me passionately as she thrust her tongue into my mouth. 

—I’m happy, I feel Kirishima-kun’s love. I want to feel more, more, more… My hips… Don’t stop….

Hayasaka-san placed her arms around my neck and her body began to tremble. That’s when someone entered the bathroom again. I tried my best to stop what she was doing, but Hayasaka-san continued to move her hips without a care in the world while telling me that she couldn’t stop, which caused her to start panting exaggeratedly.

—Hayasaka-san…?!

I tried to cover her mouth so that her moans wouldn’t leak out, but she shook her head emphatically. It was then that she decided to shout something about what we were doing without thinking about the consequences it would bring.

—I don’t care if everyone finds out! Let’s get over it, okay? I don’t mind at all if I’m with you, Kirishima-kun, and it’s because I’m your girlfriend, I want everyone to know about it!

Those were her words, all while she continued to move her hips more intensely and her breathing became even more labored.

—Kirishima-kun will be the cheater who cheated on Tachibana-san, and I’ll be the slutty girl who does things like this in the bathroom with other guys who have a girlfriend. And I don’t care about that! I just want you to make me feel good! I’ll still love you even though everyone hates you, Kirishima-kun.

Hayasaka-san’s arms and neck were sweating more and more, and even her cheeks were flushed.

—Kirishima-kun, Kirishima-kun, Kirishima-kun, Kirishima-kun, Kirishima-kun!

I couldn’t think of anything else anymore, and on mere impulse I continued kissing Hayasaka-san and grabbed her breasts very tightly. After a few seconds we both shifted to the floor. We had reached our limit, we could not think of anything else, all our life force has been consumed after having done all kinds of acts not very well seen before society. But that was the least of our problems, from outside the cubicle there was a deliberate coughing sound. Hayasaka-san continued to be ecstatic, and reached out her hand to me as if to caress me.

The door to the bathroom cubicle next door burst open, causing the heat in my body to instantly disappear and I was transported back to reality. 

—It’s me, Maki. 

Hearing his voice and knowing it was Maki, I was quite relieved. Coming from him I was sure that everything that happened in the bathroom will stay between us and no one will know the truth. Even though I can keep my mind at ease in that aspect, I feel quite embarrassed about the spectacle we just had in front of him.

—Hey, Maki, what can I tell you? I feel very uncomfortable right now.

—That’s what I should say.

—It’s not our fault! It’s because of your damn white powder you spread all over the party! My head is a mess.

—Oh yeah, speaking of which… Guys, that’s not what you think it is, it’s just powdered sugar, the idea was for you to put it in your drinks. 

—You’re kidding, right…?

—No… The truth is, you and Hayasaka-chan are nasty.

***************

—I’m sorry, Kirishima-kun…

—Don’t worry.

I was walking while dragging Hayasaka-san who was hugging me from behind. After our scene in the bathroom, there were some problems. As soon as we went back to the living room to end the party. The men Hayasaka-san was with tried to forcibly take her away, obviously wanting somewhere else “quieter”. 

This caused Hayasaka-san to make a big fuss, and saying things like; that she only wants to be with me, that she doesn’t want to go to another place if I’m not there, or that her body only belongs to me, and all this while screaming my name and begging for my help.

Clearly Maki and Sakai jumped into the picture and tried to diffuse any misconceptions that Hayasaka-san was hinting at in front of all our classmates. Now I am indebted to the two of them, I must either buy them lunch or give them a very expensive gift.

So we both left the place and I proceeded to carry the clingy Hayasaka-san all the way home on my back.

—I’m a bad girl… You think I’m a clumsy one who doesn’t think at all about what she does… Maybe so… But I also think about clever things too sometimes.

—Oh yeah? And how’s that? Wanting to get my attention by approaching any stranger who gets in your way?

—You’re right. I’m even bad at doing that, I only give you trouble, I cause displeasure to the people around me, I’m worthless.

Hayasaka-san gets off my back and starts walking beside me. I tried to hold her hand, but she shook her head.

—I tried to be friends with other guys partly because I wanted to forget about you, Kirishima-kun. I’m only causing you trouble… If you and Tachibana-san fall even more in love with each other, I’ll eventually have to leave, and I don’t know if I’d be able to do that. 

Hayasaka-san stopped dead in her tracks and stared at me, her expression was serious, there was no longer the typical smile on her face.

—I’ve realized that I’m a sneaky girl. They only allow me to be around you because they don’t want me to break down, get depressed and end up ruining my life. I’m starting to hate myself for it. So I’ve decided to stop everything now.

—What do you mean?

—Being a bad girl.

It was then that Hayasaka-san smiled energetically again. It was that kind of smile that comforts you and radiates warmth. The smile of a girl who doesn’t think about hurting anyone or have bad thoughts.

—I don’t want to do things on the sly anymore. I want to be friends with Tachibana-san, and I don’t want to be a burden to you, Kirishima-kun. Maybe I’m a good girl after all. I rebelled against everyone’s image of me because I thought they were wrong. But… Maybe, that image isn’t so wrong…. So, I will stay away from you before I become a very very bad girl.

Her smile disappears again, and a serious expression remains on her face.

—That’s why, Kirishima-kun… This Christmas will be the last time we will be together.

I’m fine with being the second girlfriend

I’m fine with being the second girlfriend

わたし、二番目の彼女でいいか
Score 8
Status: Ongoing Author: Artist: Released: 2021 Native Language: Japanese

Kirishima and Hayasaka are two classmates who have a secret relationship in public.

In their school life they pretend that they don't know each other, but behind the scenes there is much more to them than people can imagine. The two get into a relationship that is difficult to break and ends up being impure, unhealthy, and complicated, as the relationship between them was nothing more than an affair that simply created a love triangle before Kirishima's first love and his second love.

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